Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Plans for the beautification of Georgetown and surrounding areas in time for the World Cup are to be scrapped since it has been ascertained that the targets are unattainable.

Plan B will now go into full effect. This is based on the concept that tourists greatly enjoy a full blown Third World experience than the boring type of poverty where a country's citizens can afford to eat fast food almost every day but don't have any minutes in their cellular phones.

Several studies based on questionnaires of tourists returning from holidays in Least Developed Countries have shown that first time visitors gain a greater appreciation of their own countries' comforts and also become aware of the need to alleviate poverty around the world.

Guyana's secret "Plan B" for the 2007 Cricket World Cup has been leaked! It includes the creation of special DWZs (Designated War Zones) in Georgetown, a Downtown Chaos Initiative, a major conceptual art project by Christo, and the establishment of an SRC squad:

The Simulated Random Crimes (SRC) squad will patrol the city at night looking for areas where tourists congregate after matches, and then stage melodramatic shootings.

Meanwhile, my sources tell me that Trinidad and Tobago's own secret "Plan B" involves the construction of dozens of skyscrapers in Port of Spain by next year in the hope that after three-four Caribs the cricket tourists will start to think they're actually in Dubai. Each skyscraper to be clad in highly reflective glass, of course, so that the glare of the sun coming off them will blind everyone and make it impossible to notice the bad roads, drainage, schools, health care, etc.--just as Riverside Plaza for two decades and more has dazzled people driving into Port of Spain from the airport, so they don't notice the slums of Laventille in the hills behind.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Excess of sorrow laughs. And so - ha. ha.